Your step-mother asked me to meet you here. She'd heard tell about the women in my family, about the kind of magic only we are capable of. After years of trying and failing to correct your wild behaviour and tone deaf comments about women, she knew that I'd be her last hope.
I know you'd hoped to head out for a week of sun, sand and sin this spring break, but you can't be trusted with that much freedom. The only way you can learn how to respect a woman is to become one. And me? Well, it's been awhile since I've let my hair down. Sure hope your rowdy college pals are ready for me.